Good night server rack,
good night iPhone jack,
good night MPI,
good night neck beard Linux guy.
Quick — can you remember where the Beowulf Bash took place in 2012? Great! Stop reading and go there on Monday, November 14, at 9pm. But don’t enter. Instead, turn around and walk across the street, and you are at the 2016 Bash.
For those who can’t remember how they got to the 2012 Bash (or how they got home1), we suggest you read this invitation. But then, that is like “reading the directions,” so yea, be a slacker, tidy up your man-bun and follow somebody that looks like they are going to the best event of SC16.
So here’s the deal: we are holding the 2016 Bash in a children’s museum. Not to worry, as in years past a great bunch of vendors will be providing food, entertainment, and adult beverages. The museum has simple, safe exhibits that should not be too difficult for you and your friends.
In keeping with the childish theme, we decided to commission a book that offers a heart-warming tale of wires, code, and application crashes. All Bash attendees will get a copy of this limited edition book, called Good Night Cluster. Book supply is limited, so come early if you want a copy.
We’ll also have music and a quiet spot for adult conversations.2 And this year we are bringing a LART3 just in case the band does not understand the meaning of “turn it down, my ears are bleeding.”
1 Try and make it home safely this year. And please stay out of those Brazilian rest rooms.
2 Like that is going to happen.
3 LART. Noun. (plural LARTs) (slang, computing, facetious) loser attitude readjustment tool; something with which a clueless person is struck.
Notice: This invitation is intended to portray the Beowulf Bash as a mature and adult-like event at a children’s museum. We have purposely refrained from including any childish references to emails, birth certificates, taxes, foundations, a certain city in Syria, and the cyber. Nor did we repurpose slogans like “Make HPC Great Again” or “Brad and Angelina: No Longer Together” to make cheap jokes. We would never stoop to that level.
2016 BEOWULF BASH SPONSORS