The last time we visited Denver (SC13) we held the very popular “Physics of Spherical Newtonian Solids Smackdown” (a pool tournament). Because rolling spheres seems to be such a big hit in Denver, we decided to continue the tradition with a kind of bowling tournament! Yes, you read that correctly.

 

If you are an avid bowler, this is not the tournament for you. This is a “watch your friends make total fools of themselves while you yuk it up at their expense” event. (Just like mechanical bull riding at SC15, but with ugly shoes). And you are next up, Skippy, so be kind.

 

The “tournament” is actually more like a contest: attendees form teams, bowl five frames, and the three teams with the highest scores win really nifty prizes from Cornerstone Sponsor AMD — including a gaming console and a Radeon VEGA FE Graphics card for two lucky winners!

 

There will also be “booby prizes¹” for those who are bowling-challenged. For those who fear bowling balls, the Fete will also feature pool, shuffleboard, and ping-pong. In addition, every attendee will receive $10 in game play at the adjoining arcade, regardless of how much you suck at bowling.

Date:
Monday, November 13

 

Time:
9pm – midnight

Location:
Lucky Strike
500 16th Street
(8-minute walk from SC17)

Some important social guidance for those of you who…well, you know who you are. Stop with all the YOLO³ stuff, it is an incredibly obvious statement. Try to use LIGO instead — it has more cosmic impact than some lame slogan. Also, in the same vein, what is with this “hold my beer” moment meme? If you can’t do whatever while drinking a beer, then snapchat a selfie, I’m sure you can do that with one hand. Finally, this “Keep Calm” meme has got to stop. It was cute for about a week, but now it’s like pretending those vintage vinyl records actually sound good.

  1. Okay, so Google it, it’s not what you think.
  2. For those new around here. That is what we do. See: goo.gl/nbGN62
  3. “You Only Live Once,” a phrase uttered after “hold my beer” as you are about to improve the gene pool.
  4. Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory; if you did not know this, turn your geek card in at the door.
  5. Vintage: a polite way of saying old crap that you found at some yard sale and thought it would improve your hipster image. It doesn’t.